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Three semesters after adopting the sexual identity, Amanda Oppel, a junior women's-studies major at Oberlin College, abruptly dropped her highly politicized lesbian stance Monday.

"I just need to focus on different priorities right now," said Oppel, 20. "I'm graduating next year, and my dad's not going to foot the bill forever." She also alluded to "maybe going back east to get an MBA."
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Subject: An Italian Boy's Confession
* "Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose woman."
**The priest asks, "Is that you, little Johnny Parisi?"
**"Yes, Father, it is."
**"And who was the woman you were with?"
**"I can't tell you, Father, I don't want to ruin her reputation."
**"Well, Johnny, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later, so you may as well tell me now.
**Was it Tina Minetti?" "I cannot say.
**"Was it Teresa Volpe?" "I'll never tell.
"**"Was it Nina Capelli?" "I'm sorry, but I cannot name her."
**"Was it Cathy Piriano?" "My lips are sealed."
**"Was it Rosa Di Angelo, then?"
**"Please, Father, I cannot tell you."
**The priest sighs in frustration. "You're very tight lipped, Johnny Parisi, and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself."
**Johnny walks back to his pew, and his friend Nino slides over and whispers, "What'd you get?"
"Four months vacation and five good leads!"

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A blonde went to an appliance store sale and found a bargain. "I would like to buy this TV," she told the salesman.
"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.
She hurried home and dyed her hair, then came back and again told the salesman, "I would like to buy this TV."
"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.
"Darn, he recognized me," she thought.
She went for a complete disguise this time: a brown curly wig, big baggy clothes, and big sunglasses. Then she waited a few days before she approached the salesman again and said, "I would like to buy this TV."
"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.
Frustrated, she exclaimed, "How do you know I'm a blonde?"
"Because that's a microwave," he replied.

.

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Seems like whenever I'm in the same room with a sexy young nutcase looking for some hot dysfunctional action, we lock eyes and I gaze right into the twisted, abnormal recesses of her psyche, and then—bam! (Click)

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Have we as a society really come to the point where it is a crime for a man in a ski mask and black coveralls to place a simple ladder against the side of a building and climb his way to a vantage point from which the glorious beauty of the nude vagina can be gazed upon with the rapt wonderment it deserves? (Click)

Aging Mildred was a 93 year-old woman
who was particularly despondent over the recent death of her husband, Earl.
She decided that she would just kill herself and join him in death.
Thinking that it would be best to get it over with quickly, she took
out Earl's old Army pistol and made the decision to shoot herself in the heart
since it was so badly broken in the first place. Not wanting to miss the
vital organ and become a vegetable and a burden to someone, she called
her doctor's office to inquire as to just exactly where the heart would be.
"On a woman," the doctor said, "your heart would be just below your left
breast." Later that night, Mildred was admitted to the hospital with a
gunshot wound to her knee.

(LOL! It took me ages to figure out the joke.)