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We barely know each other, and you come to me with this—well, there's no other word for it—generous offer. $33 for more than 200 channels, plus free Showtime for one year? What have I done to deserve such an enormous gesture of magnanimity?

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Let's Pamper The Terrorists

Take Osama bin Laden, for example. He's still a sworn foe of mine, but trying to smoke him out of his hole hasn't been working too well. We can't seem to find this guy through violence and intimidation, so let's send him a fruit basket instead.
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An alarming new study published in the International Journal of Sexual Health reveals that casual sex, the practice of engaging in frequent, spontaneous sexual encounters with new and exciting partners, may only provide unimaginable pleasure and heart-pounding exhilaration for, at most, 25 to 30 years.

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Bill Maher On Feminism

Bill Maher On Feminism - 8 min YouTube Video - Brilliant

As living embodiments of unrealistic male fantasies, p0rn stars, experts say, possess extraordinarily high libidos that cannot be satisfied by anything less than full-throttle, no-holes-barred banging. (bad language)

To hell with Howard Stern—George W. Bush is the real king of all media! Television, radio, print, the Internet—hell, he's even made a splash on the silver screen.

First Class Galapagos Tours

OK, I was in Quito and planning to pass a week on horseback in remote mountains where trees still outnumber tour buses and there ain’t nobody. Humanity is at its best when it’s somewhere else. Then my plans fell through for boring reasons. Everything else I wanted to do was booked. I figured it was either suicide or spend the week drunk in some hotel. Then I saw a sign in a travel agency’s window: “First Class Galapagos Tours.” Fred Reed