A man is in a queue at Tescos and sees this busty blonde staring at him. He can't believe she is staring at him, then she starts waving.
'Excuse me do I know you?' he asks.
'Yes. I think you are the father of one of my kids' she says.
The man thinks back and remembers his one act of infidelity and says, 'F#cking hell ,are you the bird I sh#gged on my stag do, whilst your mate whipped me and your other mate stuck a brush up my ar#e?'
'No,' she replies 'I'm your son's English teacher!'

(LOL! It took me ages to work this one out. I'm getting too old.)